Bright neon sign. Dimly lit exterior. Hidden away in the little-explored recesses of the inner city. You know what you're looking for, and this is the only place in town to get it. Oh, there's Internet retail, but you need it now. Approaching the front of the store, you look both ways to see if anyone's going to see you walk in. The coast is clear. You open the door and enter. The clerk minds you nonchalantly over the counter. The few shady-looking individuals inside pretend not to notice you as they go about their business, quietly perusing the shelves, casually browsing through bins. You know what you're looking for, and you head straight to the back of the store - New Releases. There it is. You recognize the bright graphics and the full-busted babes. Scantily clad, yes, but that's just the cover. Wait 'til you experience what's inside. You stare and wonder - amateurs? Maybe, but hot nonetheless. You take it to the counter, eager to bring home and take your new "date" for a spin tonight. The clerk has seen some weirdos in his lifetime, but he has to give you a second look.

"You're buying this one?"

Of course you are. You know what you're looking for, and that's the new DJ Streak scratch record.

If it weren't for the differences in size, you may mistake the cover of a DJ Relm or DJ Streak record for an adult video. And even though they say size doesn't matter, a Relm/Streak twelve-inch packs more hot action than your average five-inch adult DVD - hot scratchin' action, that is.

There could not be a more perfect embodiment of the porn-turntablism connection than the scratch records and cover art produced by these two nasty boys. Hot beats - with hot girls. Nice sounds - and big mounds.

Going even further than their work with scratch records, Streak and Relm have embodied the porn-turntable connection with their dj careers - spinning at adult industry events, hanging out with the stars, and even being offered to work on porn productions. On a more down-to-earth level, these guys enjoy a nice triple X video on a regular basis, just like the rest of us. I sat down with Streak and the Sperm Boy Relm to talk about all of these topics and more. These two former Victoria's Secret stock boys have certainly come up in the world.

Stay tuned for part four, featuring an interview with the one and only DJ Qbert.

Interview with DJ Relm and DJ Streak

This interview took place February 12, 2002 in San Francisco, CA.

Pone: This is DJ Pone and I'm sitting here with the porno boys, formerly of STA. Introduce yourself, guys.

Porn star Brittany Andrews gets "ahead" - from DJ Streak.

Streak: From what?

Pone: Formerly of STA [everyone laughs]. STA doesn't exist anymore, does it? Well, STA is a state of mind.

Relm: Yes, it is.

Streak: It's all our state of mind. It's within our spirit. Yeah right.

Relm: Right on.

Pone: You live the STA, you are the STA.

Streak: Pone is the STA!

Pone: Pone is the STA. As you know, I'm doing a continuing series of investigative reports on the connection between porn and DJing. And you know, what better place to start than here with you. Well actually, I started by going to Las Vegas and talking to porn stars.

Relm: That's a good place to start. I would've started there.

Pone: Now I'm talking to DJs, and you guys are the first DJs I'm interviewing.

Relm: Wow, it's an honor.

Streak: Why would we be the first, is it because that we're really close friends? [everyone laughs]

Pone: Not only that, but you guys are really big porn afficionados, right? You guys could tell me about your stroking fantasies and everything.

Relm: Oh man, you would run out of tape. But let's see. We need background music for that

Pone: So the first question is: Do you see any connection between porn and djing - turntablism?

Streak: I see a connection with porn in everything. I can make a connection with porn and church if I wanted to.

Pone: Can you do that?

Streak: Where do you think they got the crucifix idea from? It was a medieval, freakin, erotic, torture thing.

Pone: Oh! Alright, with the whip...

Relm: Exactly, that's what they did to him, 'cause, you know, that was his punishment.

Streak: Way before Jesus was even - Jesus, man. They had those things. There's a connection right there.

Pone: Who are your favorite porn stars?

Streak: Whew! Personally, I'm a Charmane Star fan, Skylar Knight, and uh...

Pone: Did you check out Charmane on our video, scratching? [the Channel 89 trailer at www.89skratch.com]

Streak: Yeah, that's cool. Do you know her real name? I know it. It's a secret though.

Pone: You met her?

Streak: Yeah. We met her before she was Charmane Star.

Relm: Uh-huh.

Streak: She worked at Nordstrom.

Relm: [whispering] Hot. Hot stuff.

Pone: Relm?

Relm: I'm a big Tera Patrick fan like everyone else these days, but Jenna Jameson...

Pone: Jenna Jameson?

Relm: Yeah, definitely, I just like blonde hair.

Pone: Did you catch the Tera show?

Relm: The what?

Pone: Did you catch the Tera show, that Internet broadcast show where she has porn stars come on?

Streak: I can't do it from my house though.

Pone: VCA stars are going to be there, like Chloe. Chloe's hot man - anal action. And Julie Meadows.

Relm: Nice.

Streak: I'll bring you to a place right now that no one knows about, that you'll totally talk about for the rest of your life.

Pone: Is it called the "Funk Shop"?

Streak: Let's just say I know the place here in the city [San Francisco] that's the size of five football fields. They're the main suppliers for everything in the whole world.

Pone: You mean porn distributors?

Streak: Yeah, but they're not always a porn distributor. They're actually an in-house. You know, when you go to 7-11, all those "Skanks & Spanks"? They make it there. They make the real dildos. They make the freakin' mannequins. They make all that stuff. It's like five football fields of just straight porn, dude.

Pone: You got to take us there sometime, that's pretty hot.

Streak: I used to go there once a week. [everyone laughs]

Pone: Do you find any kind of inspiration to scratch in porn? And do you find porn-related influence in any tracks you record?

Relm: A lot of porn scenes mimic music scenes. You start off slow, you know, kind of chill intro. Then they walk in, the plumber's here. You get going, you get into it, you know. It's just like you're scratching, you kind of get into it, warming up. And then, you got the climax, of course, it's way -whew- man, you're just...

Pone: Going off.

Relm: Yeah, going completely nuts...[someone's cell phone rings] When the phone rings. And then you have the warm down, the cool down period where you just chill, and then you're out. It's all good. So, I think that it's just the structure, how things are structured.

Pone: Just like a porno. Like a good dj set.

Streak: You can tell the influence that pornos have on Relm and me, or anyone else so to say. Look at how our records come out. Not just the way they look, but the way they sound, too.

Pone: Why don't you talk about your records for a second. Are those authentic porn stars on your record? Tell us more.

Streak: The thing is, when I watch porno, it's like...OK, I watch Vivid and I watch the North Pole series, it's like "OK, she's like hella popular already, and I know her..." That's why I like going to the Up and Cummers, like Hustlers' Up and Cummers or [Ed Powers'] Dirty Debutantes, like "Who's that amateur? Let's break her in!" you know.

Pone: So you're like freakin' Ed Powers!

Streak: Yeah, you know, what's fun about watching a porno when you already know [the star]? "Ok, she's Jewel D'Nyle, I already know she can do that backwards pyramid thing, or I already know she can do that." But the first time you've ever seen a 1999 RSM magazine, you know the Real Sex Magazine, the Jimmy Winthrop editions, you're like "Dude, who's that girl, Anabelle blah blah blah, oh my god, she's off the hook!" Then next thing you know, [imitates feminine voice] "Oh yeah, this is the first porn I'm ever going to make, and I'm not ever going to do this again", and then, you know Jim will put that 'Yeah, right', on that thing. And next thing you know she's like blown up totally, just because of what he did, and of what Ed Powers did. Like Charmane Star's first porno - Ed Powers. He got her into that stuff, you know. All of them, after they blow up, they totally forget where they came from, that's why I really just stick with the amateurs.

Pone: So you like getting "rookie cards" and stuff?

Streak: Yeah. And you can make a video that totally sells a lot, too.

Pone: So, if you could have any porn star be on the cover of the next Streak album, who would it be?

Streak: I would go from the top to the bottom. I'd probably start off with Traci Lords or Nina Hartley, because they're the queens of porn, you've got to!

Pone: The queen of porn! I got to grab her ass!

Streak: Where at, at State [San Francisco State University]?

Pone: What's that?

Streak: At State. Oh [you met her], in Vegas. Relm met her at State. That's the funny thing.

Relm: Yeah, my sex class. [note: D-styles mentions this class at San Francisco State University in his interview as well.]

Pone: Cool. Did she teach a class, or was she a guest?

Relm: She was a guest. I was teaching.

Pone: Did you squeeze her ass too?

Relm: Hell yes. She gave lap dances, too. This is for educational purposes only, though. You understand, they were very professional about it.

Pone: No erections allowed.

Streak: Why, who would you use [on an album cover]?

Pone: Who would I use?

Relm: Yeah.

Pone: I don't know, I got a couple of ideas, and it would be theme-specific. I'll let you in on some of my little secrets. [portion edited out]

Streak: We're just trying to use girls that are not, like...

Pone: Known.

Streak: Yeah, because when people see them they'll be like "Who's this? Ooooh ooooh!" It'll be more of a shock, not like "Ahhh, you used blah, blah, blah, oh yeah, I've seen her on this magazine, whatever"

Snayk Eyez: Props to Streak, for you know, getting [the model] Jynki on his cover [from Catholic High School Breaks]. That's my favorite right there.

Streak: Oh, really? You know her?

Snayk Eyez: No.

Pone: Snayk Eyez spanks to that every night.

Snayk Eyez: No I don't. I don't even have the records, dude.

Pone: He borrows mine!

Streak: Oh, is that a hint? Dude, I'll hook you up.

Relm: "I don't even have doubles..."

Streak: But seriously, if you want to see nude pictures of Jynki [pulls out photo]...he hasn't even seen, ohhh shit!

Relm: Ohhh, he'll love it!

Snayk Eyez: Oh man, you just made my day already, dude.

Streak: And oh, dude, this is just between us, dude. [tape off while Streak tells us his scandalous stories of him and porn stars]

Pone: Both of you guys used to work at Victoria's Secret. Can you tell us any interesting stories about that? Did you guys run into anyone famous?

Streak: Go for it Relm!

"Why don't you 'Leave it to Beaver'" - DJ Relm graciously accepts Brittany Andrew's suggestion to name a break record.

Relm: Ok, I think I have the worst story. I was a stock boy. I was at work, I was restocking the floor and it was a really, really, really, really, really busy day. So we only had four or so changing rooms. So I guess they made use of the back room for some other people to change, without thinking I was going to go back there. Only one stock person...

Pone: Without telling you?

Relm: Without telling me. I guess they thought I'd, you know, get a special treat.

Pone: You did, right?

Relm: Too bad they sent the 70 year old back there!

Pone: No!

Streak: Yes!

Relm: Dude, I saw Something About Mary way before that whole scene with. Oh man, it was terrible.

Streak: That was hella funny.

Relm: It was the most disgusting thing ever. I couldn't...I don't know, it took me a while to get over it, seriously, because it was really bad.

Pone: Do you dream about it at night? Nightmares?

Relm: It stopped after the therapy. It was BAD. But she wasn't even fazed by it, do you know what I mean?

Streak: She was like "whatever".

Relm: I just walked in, and I was like "whooooaaa, oh my god!" I thought it was a joke, and she just kind of smirked, and I was like "Dude, that's terrible, I gotta go home right now." I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep.

Streak: In the back room, they have these different bins. You know how bra sizes go 32 A, B, C - and then that's the bin. And then it goes 34 A,B,C - and that's the bin. 36 A,B,C - so it goes down. So there are different sizes of the miracle bras, you know, your padded ones. And there's this one all the way at the end called the "cobweb" bin - 'cause it was the 40 DD. And it really had cobwebs, 'cause we never touched it, 'cause who the fuck is a 40 DD? And this is when we first started working there. The front counter has an intercom, right, if you call something in the back, like "Oh, can you grab a blah, blah, blah?" And we'd be like, "Oh yeah, sure, blah, blah, blah." But I didn't know [then]. I just thought it was from the front desk to the back. I didn't know that the whole store could [hear]. There were speakers, the whole [store] could hear it. So then I went to the back for some reason, and then my manager goes "Oh, can you grab a cream 40 DD?" [over the intercom]. Then I went "40 DD, god damn that's big!" I didn't know the whole [store] heard it. And I grabbed the cream [bra], when I walked out and I was like "Fuck, who's is this shit?" And I didn't even think that the lady was right there. My manager's hella red, but she could not stop, she was trying to stop laughing, but she's like this [mimics frozen face]. And all the workers had to cover their faces and stuff, and I gave it to the lady. I said "Oh....". Who's a 40 DD?

Pone: Was she fat, or was she...

Streak: No, she was thick. She wasn't fat - obese. She was like, thick. But, it was just like...it was not cool, dude. Like BB Gunz, you know who I'm talking about? You know who BB Gunz is, you know what I'm saying? It's like, that's disgusting, dude.

Relm: It's too big.

Streak: And then I was talking to this girl, you know Victoria's Secret, all the girls just want to start small talk. [Imitates female voice] "Man, you know, I don't know how girls can get fake boobs, and then they're always jealous of me 'cause they always say, that, that um, you know, I have fake boobs. But these are like real" [mocks holding big breasts up]. And everyone's just like [jaw drops and shakes head] "Uh Huhhhhhhhhh."

We had a blast working at Victoria's Secret. We'd dance with mannequins, dress them all up. Like different, you know, outfits. It was hella fun, dude.

Pone: That's pretty hot.

Streak: We used to hella steal there, for what, dude? "Dude I stole some bras today!" We're like "For who?" "I don't know...just to have." It was a cool little job.

There were times where we just had hella fun in there, dude. Meet hella girls, and there were all those sophisticated...business district women wearing them suits...Jesus Christ!

Pone: Now back to porn. Do you guys find any kind of inspiration...like, do you watch porn when you scratch, or when you scratch, do you suddenly want to beat off?

Streak: No, absolutely when I watch a porn, I can't do anything else. I just have to watch it, I can't be scratching.

Relm: Same with scratching. When I scratch, I scratch. And nothing else is going on.

Streak: You can't do two things at once, and make it really good, you know.

Pone: Have you ever done a gig that had some porn stars in it?

Streak: All the time.

Pone: Can you tell us about that?

Streak: Yeah, when was the first one, Relm?

Relm: It was the Brittany Andrews one.

Pone: Where was that at?

Relm: That was in '98?

Streak: Nah, '97, '98. She had this little chain. It was the opening of Britco Pictures. Of her company. They had different rooms of where they filmed stuff. [note: According to the old STA website, the Britco Party was in '99.]

Snayk Eyez: Was that what they had on the website? [the old STA website]

Relm: Yeah.

Streak: Yeah, but that wasn't though. We couldn't put none of the other stuff in there. [referring to the photos on the STA website]

There was this one time where...Anyone who went to the party was entitled to do whatever they wanted, and no one could get in trouble. So you know, there was hella porno stars there, then she brought in 20 blonde sluts just to have a good time with everybody. So all these girls like were getting fist fucked, fucked. [Girls would] get a bag of Jolly Ranchers and put it all up their cooches, and get it wet, then comes out, and all the dudes would start eating it.

Pone: Nice.

Streak: You know, and there's girls making out here, this girl's getting fucked. Walking around, and that dude's getting blown, he's getting 5-to-something total strangers walking by. It was like, totally cool.

Pone: Did you guys participate in the action, or did you guys just dj the whole time?

Streak: We were all seeing someone at that time...either had a girlfriend or...

Pone: Was that with the same person?

Streak: No...I wish. We need one of those. We haven't had a "group roadie" in a while. A group hoe. I not gonna name our group hoes, but...

Pone: Alright. So what would your suggested videos be? Your personal top 5.

Relm: I'm a real big fan of the interactive ones. That totally changed it for me.

Pone: You like Virtual Sex with Tera Patrick?

Relm: Of course Tera Patrick, and Jenna Jameson, and I would say...

Pone: Do you like "My Plaything"?

Relm: I like those because they have the whole scene, which is like a real bedroom and stuff.

Streak: Not like the black [background]. And "My dick don't look like that!"

Relm: Yeah, it's like a black "where the hell are they", you see the wires everywhere and stuff. I like those. And they have the machines and stuff.

Pone: How about you, Streak?

Streak: I'm really straight into the amateur stuff. Because, like...

Pone: Ed Powers?

Streak: Because, when I masturbate. I mean, actually, you know what? Screw that. When EVERY guy masturbates it's a fantasy, right? So they portray themselves like ok, I'm this person, or blah, blah, blah. It's your fantasy, anything goes, right? And in the amateur ones it just shows not just a fantasy, it shows more of a realness. Like, dude, get her off the street - "Hey, you know, want to be a porn star? Can I fuck the shit out of you for fifty bucks?" You know? But they're not like Vivid, like ok, "I'm making a porno called 'Banging on the Boat' and we need blah, blah, blah. How much is your rate? And here goes 30% to your manager, blah, blah." Then next thing you know, it takes 3 months to get in. But Ed Powers can do 10 volumes in 10 hours.

Snayk Eyez: He likes just the "on the spot" stuff, huh?

Streak: Yeah, you know like "Gang Bus". Dudes are driving around in a bus, going picking up hookers, and bringing them in...I like that spontaneous, spur of the moment thing.

Pone: If you guys could compare yourselves to a porn star, like if you were the *blank* of turntablism, who would you be?

Relm: I don't know. I've never thought of that. That's a good question. I've never thought of that.

Snayk Eyez: Just don't say Bobby Vitale.

Streak: I'd be Ed.

Pone: The Ed Powers of turntablism?

Relm: I would probably be the Ron Jeremy. Because I'm not too attractive, but I get the job done, you know? It's like, I'm the "everyman's" man.

Pone: You're the hedgehog?

Relm: You know, the everyman's man. You know what I mean?

Pone: And you look like a hedgehog.

Streak: I'm like the Ed [Powers], because he was the outgoing type, and all he wanted in life was to be a porno star. But he had a small ass dick. A small penis, you know, so of course he could not be a porno star. They said "you got to get an enlargement", all this stuff. He's like "No, I'm real, dude. Why would I have to get an enlargement? This is me, I'm not going to change for nobody." No matter, he went to Vivid, he went to Playboy, no one wanted him! So he said "Fuck everybody, I'm going to start this amateur thing called 'Dirty Debs' [Dirty Debutantes]" And no one thought of it. Like, why would you want to buy an amateur video? And now he has the most volumes out of any porno star.

Pone: And some people got their start on that.

Streak: And 60% of the biggest stars today started off on an Ed Powers thing, or RSM. But then RSM started off from Ed Powers. It's sort of like me. When I was coming up as a dj, I'd always get turned down. "Oh you can't dude, you're not good enough", or "You should just quit djing and stick with school." But no, I think I could succeed in this, I just got to believe in myself. You know, like Ed Powers then hooked up with Randy West, and Ron Jeremy, then they started this crew. And then next thing you know, they started a whole new trend, and then now they're hella respected, so yeah, not just that...And the small penis thing, too, we got the same size, I guess.

Pone: It's not the length of your schlong, but how you use it.

Relm: It's not the size of boat, it's the motion of the ocean.

Pone: Exactly.

Streak: It's the black dress socks, too. [Streak points out Pone's socks]

Pone: Do you guys see any parallels between the turntablism world and the adult industry? Like, do you see similar things? Because you've kind of worked with [the adult industry] on your records.

Streak: The music...

Relm: Yeah, the music. And plus, the use of the Internet. I think like the DJ thing totally took off and thrived because of the Internet. And porn of course. And the Internet.

Pone: Why the music, though? You were talking about the music.

Relm: The music?

Streak: Because, here's a little secret. [Relm] and I have been asked by some companies to make scratch music for their [videos].

Streak [to Pone]: Would you ever be in a porno?

Pone: Perform? I don't have enough confidence in myself that I can do that in front of a camera, no. Would you?

Streak: Honestly, to tell you the truth, it would be my biggest dream. But I'd think about the two people it would hurt the most, and I couldn't do it.

Pone: Your mom?

Streak: And my grandmom, yeah. I would never.

Pone: Damn, you guys are cool. How'd you get hooked up to do soundtrack work? Who'd you talk to?

Streak: [to Relm] It wasn't you and me, who was it? Oh, it was Big Ed.

Relm: Oh yeah, his friend.

Streak: 'Cause my friend's a porno star [Big Ed of the Ed Powers crew]. And he married Letha Weapon, and of course she's in the biggest porno ever, you know, the Jon Bobbitt one. He's like, "Dude, you know, I'm a big fan of your music, dude, what's up dude?" I was just letting him hear some of the stuff, he's like "What's up?" you know. And I was like, "Are you serious? You want some scratching?"

Pone: Why didn't you guys go through with that?

Streak: I mean, we could, but then, you know, it's just like, I couldn't involve myself into anything...

Pone: Going into the business, at all?

Streak: Just because of the respect I have for my grandma and my mom, I wouldn't...

Pone: Not even making music?

Streak: Probably not.

Pone: You are a very honorable man.

Streak: Why do you think I can't do those [break record] covers anymore? 'Cause of my mom and my Grandma. The new ones have to be straight up tasteful, like "Angels in the Clouds" kind of...fuck that, dude! But no more raunchy shit for me, I can't.

Pone [to Relm]: Would you ever produce porn music?

Relm: If felt I was ready, you know what I mean? I really gotta get in there, I want to do it 100%.

Pone: Would you participate in a porno. Would you be an actor?

Relm: Hell no. I can't. I would not.

Streak: Big Ed asked me in one of his fuckin' covers once. He goes "dude, we need a crazy asian dude wearing sunglasses in there." I'm like "Sorry I can't" He's all "Dude, I'll give you a thousand bucks to fuckin' screw a girl for 10 minutes, you wouldn't do it?" I was like "Shit, I can't do that, dude."

Pone: Who's Big Ed?

Streak: Big Ed, he's part of Ed Powers' crew. That dude with the long ponytail. I said "You know, I can't do that stuff. I'm just going to hurt my mom and grandma, I can't"
"They ain't gonna know"
"Yeah, they would dude!"
I can never do that, dude. But if one day my grandma and mom said "Stick your dick in her and do it", you know, I would in a second.

Pone: "My mom told me to, my mom told me to!" Ahh yeah.

Streak: "Who's my momma, who's my momma!"

Pone: Any last remarks?

Streak: Yeah, we just want to say you two fuckin' rock.

Relm: Yeah, we glad you guys are doing this study. It's long overdue.

Snayk Eyez: It's all him, man. [points to Pone]

Streak: 'Cause you know, like how you guys ask us about the porn. I get so annoyed nowadays when someone just wants to talk about djing all day long. Like "Yo, you know what, you know the triple click flare with the orbit scratch with the stab coming backwards in reversal, I was wondering"
"Shut up!...Hey, do you watch basketball"
"Ummm...is that a DJ?"

Pone: Nice to know that we think about other things.

DJ Relm's Jugglin' Jaws and DJ Streak's Catholic School Girls in Trouble are in stores now. Relm and Streak will be blowing major wads in the record bins this spring - look out for More Catholic High School Girls in Trouble, The Wizard of Aaahs, Hella Hooters, and DJ Streak's Bikini Bash.

Photos courtesy of DJ Streak and DJ Relm.